You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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