Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
