Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
