the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
our cab driver is having phone sex.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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