Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
