I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
