It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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