just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
