Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
