she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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