Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
