It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
