We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
