The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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