I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
