Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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