her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
why is half of my head shaved?
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