I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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