Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
