Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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