Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
A+ Viking dick
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
