Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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