You can't special order awesome
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
