why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
