After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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