Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
