Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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