every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
