haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
