I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
