I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
