I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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