Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
