they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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