You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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