Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
