He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
All I want is dick and wine.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
