She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
