I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
