Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
