But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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