when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
