Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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