Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
