matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
