smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
