Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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