I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
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