Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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