Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
