Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
